Feedback on second draft- Written

From this feedback we now know that re-filming in order to improve certain shots and certain areas of continuity is key to improving our film, as well as making the split personality of Rob more clear in order to make the narrative of the whole film more vivid and clear to the target audience.

Screenplay feedback

From the feedback to our script we was able to notice that many people felt the narrative was mainly clear, but they made it clear to us that when the film comes to life through filming it should make a lot more sense. This therefore shows me and my partner that we really need make our filming a very high quality in order to completely tell the narrative effectively.

Feedback on second Screenplay

We again went out and asked for some audience feedback for our second script. Once the audience read it, we asked them 3 questions:

1. What did you think of the narrative?
2. What did you think of the dialogue?
3. What did you think of the ending?
4. Any improvements you think could be made?

These were each of the responses to the questions.


Feedback 1:

1. Good narrative
2. Maybe a bit too much dialogue
3. Yeah it was good, ties up the story well.
4. Make the dialogue less repetitive

Feedback 2:

1. Understood it. It was clear
2. Dialogue was good
3. Ending was good
4. Wasn't clear on whether it was a thriller or a drama

Feedback 3:

1. Understood most of the narrative but some bits were unclear
2. I liked it because it definitely shows that Rob is a bit mentally unhinged. Was baffled about the character of Doc and Voices
3. Good plot twist
4. Clear up some of the dialogue, to make some parts less confusing

Feedback 4:

1. Understood the narrative after reading over
2. Very deep meaning and powerful
3. Unexpected twist, out of nowhere
4. Yes, more talking to himself as it makes it clear to the audience about his condition

From this research we were able to discover that our target audience would prefer us to cut out some unnecessary lines in order to make the dialogue of the film more concise as well as making the narrative of the film clearer. They also would like us to make it more clear the purpose of the voices of the doctor and the dead character, so therefore we need to make this more clear to our audience.

Film poster vote

From the result of the Google Forms I can see that each poster got rather similar votes. Through this voting system it therefore allows me to see that there is a potential to incorporate elements of each design in my final film poster in order to please my target audience following the research I have carried out.

Teacher feedback 2

Following prior feedback from my teacher I have completed the tasks set out for me to do so. However, on this occasion I have been advised to add greater depth to my organisation and time management. Therefore this is now something that I will focus on when continuing with work on my blog. I will also check that feedback and posts saved as drafts are posted to the blog.

Film poster feedback

From the feedback made on my three roughly designed posters I have been given both positive and negative effects of all of these posters and will now work towards making them better. The most popular design was the third design which incorporated an illustration of the skull due the abstract design, however other comments about the other posters commented on the good use of Photoshop in the other two. This therefore means that I could potentially make a fourth poster after getting further answers on a favourite design which incorporates a few good features from each design. 

Film Review feedback

 Through the feedback I have received on my film review I have noticed that I will need to make a few subtle tweaks to the layout in order to make it appear as professional as possible and make sure that the alignments are as intended. As well as this, a few grammatical errors have been spotted due to changing the layout of the text itself and therefore this also needs to be corrected.

Animatic feedback

Teacher feedback sheet

From the first feedback from my teacher I have been able to noticed that more detail needs to be added to my work in order to help create a better standard of filming. This goes for all of the different aspects such as research and planning as this will mean that I have done the sufficient research in the genre of film that I am creating, as well as the actual narrative planning behind my own film.

Interviews on 'Of Unsound Minds' Screenplay

Question and answer session

How is the film going to start? Is it going to start in Media res in a counselling session?
The idea for the start of the film is that the audience join in the middle of the counselling session in order for the audience to see that they are unable to be treated properly by doctors, as they will be having the counselling sessions, but the hallucinations will still be happening around them.
Is it going to be a documentary style?
The film will not be in a documentary style. Even though the film has an educational message the film will take the shape of a drama in order to show the mental illness in a real life situation.
What different schizophrenic personalities will the character have?
The different schizophrenic personalities we believe  will be portrayed are: a young girl, an elderly man, a younger male who is a drug user/hippie and a person from an ethnic minority group. This is done in order for the personalities to both contrast and compliment eachother due to them all living in one society, but all having contrasting beliefs on the world they live in (so that the main protagonist is unable to actually collect his thoughts.